AstraCreates

Song for my sons that I wrote 12/22/2015 50 miles of driving rain on the hood of my car 50 miles away from you never seem so far I know I've made my mistakes I pushed you away but see I'm letting you go because you mean that much to me it'll be a sacrifice I want you to know it took a lot of thinking the decision to go It ain't something that I did on a dime and I know somehow , someway that over time you'll understand the reasons why And you'll see That I'm letting you go because you mean that much to me People get to leaving For all kinds of reasons And many blame the other for why But you need to see That this time it

I eat not because my stomach pains Or it's been so long that my body complains I eat not for the nourishment or to master the impoverishment I eat because the world is loud I eat so that I can drown out the sound Because the hunger in my soul is so profound The food outweighs the consciousnesses Of this reality without cognizance I eat because the planet spins Because the orbit around the sun begins The screaming of the death of another year While I'm merely lying here Because I'm afraid of the dusk and dawn Of another moment gone I eat because it hurts to breathe It hurts to know It hurts to grieve I eat to console that angry girl Whose d

A smashed ashtray once pointed at you. Tendons exposed on my cut wrist. Nightmares of you making love, but not to me. Instead to someone I've never seen. The back of an ambulance. More times than once. But only one love that is green. Blood in blond hair. A drive, just a drive to find her. The lusts that are crippling me. Oh, but only one love and it's green.

Something once so alive expels itself from deep inside. A mothers womb now an empty pit, with shreds of tissue clinging for life to it. But soon it will find its way outside with the beads of blood now caked on her thighs. Fair-warning to her that what was ONCE so alive has died, and is now running out from the inside- with pink and tan tissue and all the womb denied and what might be left of this mother's pride.

There were words of parting spoken softly between your lying lips making promises like ones before, but this one you could keep. you were breaking my heart in two, but looking out once more for you- i said sorrow's well is deep but i promised my love to sleep. nights grew longer, and winters cold and the stillness in loss and letting you go never let go of me. And rewarded me only fair memories of something we USED to be, long before you rendered me free and turned me away to the deep blue sea. or to be buried somewhere no one could see. and nothing was to be left of you and me except the only promise, you could ever keep.